Lyrics

They call it love,
but it looks like a blood draw
under fluorescent buzz,
with my arm on the tray.
I pulled back the soft parts,
held still for the needle,
just to fit the shape
you said was okay.
I bled out the doubt
till my hand went numb.
Now I move like
a fault line under glass.
What you wanted in me
was the damage,
and I wore it
like a tag on my neck.

The chart says leave.
The blood says stay.
My nervous system
keeps overruling
everything
I know.

LOVE IS A
a beautiful defect in the brain.
I can diagnose the sickness
but I can't make it go away.
Every rational conclusion
gets diluted in my veins.
Love Is A Beautiful Defect
and logic
doesn't stand a fucking chance.

I measured every symptom.
Named every side effect.
Put reason under glass
and watched the chemicals object.
You became a dosage
I knew I shouldn't take,
but withdrawal made your absence
feel more dangerous than staying.
So I kept swallowing the contradiction
until wanting you felt scientific.

THE MIND SAYS
NO
THE BLOOD SAYS
MORE.
THE CHART SAYS
LEAVE.
THE BODY SAYS
YOURS.

I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
I KNOW WHAT IT DOES.
KNOWING DOESN'T CURE IT.

Love Is A Beautiful Defect
and I'm awake through every change.
Watching reason lose the argument
somewhere inside my veins.
I can document the damage.
I can calculate the pain.
But knowing why I'm drowning
doesn't teach my blood
to change.
Love Is A Beautiful Defect
and logic
doesn't stand
a fucking chance.